


We Are The Dead

by DianaSolaris



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (and has been thoroughly debunked by it), (does not take s3 into account), Aromantic, During Canon, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Origin Story, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:05:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaSolaris/pseuds/DianaSolaris
Summary: Their home is gone. Their families are dead. All Coran and Allura have are each other - and memories, bittersweet and drifting, of faces they'll never see again. Written for Voltron Gen Mini Bang 2017, in collaboration with ocathalain! Betaed by Nightpelt and Cipheral. :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ocathalain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocathalain/gifts).



> Written for Voltron Gen Mini Bang 2017!
> 
> TW for the fic as a whole: PTSD, war, violence, character death, other bad stuff like that but! happy ending yall so it be good

_“In Flanders fields the poppies blow_

_Between the crosses, row on row,_

_That mark our place: and in the sky_

_The larks still bravely singing fly_

_Scarce heard amid the guns below.”_

 

__

 

They buried the remnants of his memories on a cold moon, light years from Altea’s graveyard. The air was thin. Coran couldn’t catch his breath, although Allura seemed to have no troubles. Her eyes were fixed on the barren ground, dust and rocks.

“Princess…”

She ignored him, and lifted the spade, thrusting it into the ground. She didn’t move her gaze from the hole that began to appear. Coran wondered if she’d forgotten he was there.

Beside her, the broken glass and twisted metal sat, beyond all repair, beyond any magic that Coran knew of. And even if not - he had almost killed them all.

_My king._

He lifted his shovel, but Allura turned on him, eyes like chips of ice in her stone face. “No.”

“Allura -”

“He was my father.”

Coran could have argued. Coran could have replied a thousand ways, and reminded her that he’d been there before she was born, that he’d buried her mother, that his children and grandchildren were gone as well, stardust and ashes in the endless sky.

But he kept his own counsel.

* * *

 _  
_ The skies of Altea were purple, and the first sun was rising in the north when Coran took Allura outside for the first time. “Look at that,” he sighed. “Isn’t that beautiful?”

The baby in his arms gurgled, and he tickled her chin. “Know what that is?”

She shook her head. Coran laughed. “That’s Zanis, the oldest sun. His brothers and sisters rise after he does, but he’s the king of the sky. We bow to him first.”

He looked down at her. Her eyes were fixed on Zanis, irises sparkling with gold and purple. “Zah?”

“That’s right!”

Behind him, far away from where Allura’s six-month-old eyes could see, the priestesses came in and closed her mother’s eyes. Coran fought the urge to turn and look. The queen had been sick for a long time. She wasn’t in pain anymore.

“Gah!” Allura’s teeth found his finger, chewing on it. He let her, then lifted her until she could see the sky and the royal city laid out underneath it.

“Isn’t it beautiful, princess? And guess what! When you’re grown up, it’s all going to be yours.”

Over the horizon, the second sun began to rise.

* * *

 

Coran had thought the paladins were all asleep, but as he moved back towards the castle, he saw a figure standing in the grand doorway.

“Coran? Is everything alright?” Lance asked, voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Coran wondered how he was supposed to answer that. The anger rose in his chest for a beat - but then he exhaled. “In a manner of speaking. Nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure?” Lance glanced past Coran. “It’s awfully cold out here.”

“We don’t feel it as badly as you do. It’s alright.”

Lance didn’t look convinced. “Should I -”

“No, no. Go back to sleep. You’ll need it if we run into any Galra tomorrow.”

“Well, alright.” But Lance kept taking nervous glances behind him as he disappeared back into the castle. Coran supposed he wouldn’t have admired the boy nearly as much if he hadn’t. But the paladins had families back on Earth. Living, breathing families. Theirs were gone.

_She still has you. You still have her._

Coran just hoped that would be enough.

* * *

It was another hour before Allura was done. She limped back to the castle, exhaustion writ large on her face, and behind her, a twist of metal marked the grave. It was a symbolic gesture, Coran knew - they had no true monuments to erect to the last memories of their king, but they could try.

He refused to acknowledge the truth in his mind - that the monument would stand for a year, perhaps two, before the bitter air ate it away or the solar winds pulled away whatever was left of the atmosphere. It was easier to pretend - to believe in some semblance of permanence. That things didn’t fade, or wither, or die.

He didn’t trust his voice, so he just nodded to her. She attempted to smile back, and then like a dam had been breached, the tears began to fall. “C-Coran…” she whimpered, then anything else was lost in her sobs.

He ran forward and caught her as she collapsed. “It’s okay, Princess. We’ll be okay.”

“What do we do now?” she asked, burying her head in his shirt. “I don’t - I don’t know what to do!”

“It will come.”

“I’m not -” She fell silent again, shoulders shaking. Then - “Why me, Coran? Why did Father save _me?_ Why not somebody who knows what they’re doing?” She was refusing to use past tense. Coran couldn’t bear to correct her. “I can’t _do_ this, Coran...please…”

He exhaled, trying to keep his cool. The two of them would have plenty of time to grieve, later. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“I can’t ask so much of them…”

“Then ask them if they want to leave.”

She shook her head, the muscles in her back tensing. “But then they _will_ leave. And we’ll be alone again.”

Coran didn’t have an answer to that. Instead, he bent down and looped his arm under her legs, pulling her into his arms. “It’s going to be okay, Princess. I promise.”

Allura didn’t believe him. He knew that much. But she shrank into him anyway, exhaling slowly and closing her eyes.

He carried her into the castle. Lance was standing there again, and Coran ignored him, and his worried gaze. Coran had told him to leave.

All the same, staring down the massive, empty hallway of the place that had been home, he didn’t _really_ mind.

* * *

“Coran! Coran, wake up!”

He opened his eyes blearily. There was a very excited face above him. Excited, brown and very, _very_ close.

“Princess… what are you doing in my room?”

“Cosim let me in! You said you were gonna take us to the _festival!_ ”

He snorted, and sat up, gently moving Allura off of his chest. She was maybe ten years old, still just a baby, and _certainly_ not a princess yet. “Allura, you’re going with your father, aren’t you?”

Her face fell at that. “Oh. Well, I…”

“Her papa isn’t going,” interrupted Cosim from the door. His hair hadn’t been brushed yet, spiking up from his head in red clumps. “He sez its a...what was it, Lura?”

“A distraction,” she said quietly.

Coran rubbed at his eyes. “He doesn’t want to go at all?” Then a moment later, his mind caught up. Of course. Alfor had always gone with Feara. “Does your father know you’re here?”

“Mostly!”

“Mostly?”

Allura flushed. “He said I can _always_ go to you! And you said too! So. Mostly.”

Coran supposed he couldn’t argue with that. “Well, alright. Cosim, go tell your father we’ve got an extra mouth to worry about.”

Cosim nodded, then barrelled over. “Papaaaa!” Coran shook his head with a laugh. His grandnephew was just like his father, all exuberance and energy and recklessness. He had _no_ idea where they’d gotten it from, really.

He scratched at his mustache. “What are you most excited for at the festival, Princess?” he asked. Her face was still fallen and sad. Best not to let her dwell on it.

Her eyes glittered. “The dance of the first sun.”

* * *

 

The festival was bigger than it had ever been, and Coran watched Allura rush through the crowd with a warm grin. She and Cosim were up to mischief, he was sure, but they were good kids.

Although, perhaps since the _last_ incident had ended in some drenched nobles and a slightly disastrous wedding, he shouldn’t be letting them run around _quite_ so freely…

“Coran,” came a voice at his shoulder. He turned, and smiled as he realized it was Alfor.

“You’re late. Allura was rather upset.”

Alfor had the decency to look a little sheepish. “Thank you for taking care of her. I couldn’t bear to come.”

“You’re here now, aren’t you?”

Alfor glanced away. “I don’t… I missed so much of Feara’s last years. I can’t lose my daughter. Especially not to my own distractions.”

There was that word again. _Distraction._

The music started to play, and Alfor watched with a wistful expression as the festival-goers began to form the pattern of the Zanis Dance. They would spiral around the courtyard, the old-timers knowing the steps by heart, the newcomers following along as best as they could.

Coran put a hand on his shoulder. “Go dance with your daughter.”

“I’ve already disappointed her -”

“I _said,_ go dance with your daughter,” Coran said a little more firmly, and gave Alfor a push. “Or I’ll tell my wife -”

“You _wouldn’t,_ ” Alfor replied with mock horror - then with a deep breath, ran forward to join the dance.

“Papa!” Allura clung to his hand, and Coran watched them with a sigh. Alfor was grieving still, but he’d get there. They all would.


	2. Chapter 2

_We are the dead: Short days ago,_

_We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,_

_Loved and were loved: and now we lie_

_In Flanders fields!_

 

 

This time, she was waking up from a different kind of exhaustion, blue eyes still foggy and trails of light still visible in the markings on her skin. “Did I do it, Coran? Did I save the Balmera?”

“You did, Princess.” He took her hand, reminding himself that it was _warm,_ it was living, she was still here. “The magnificent creature lives to fight another day - and so do you.” He squeezed her hand. “And don’t you dare scare me like that again.” He couldn’t help the fear and anger that crept into his voice at that. “ _Ever._ ”

Allura laughed weakly. She was already recovering, thank Zanis. “I had to, Coran. And it all worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

He inclined his head, suddenly not trusting his words. He was... so proud of her. But the fear in his chest still wouldn't go away. _If I lose her, I will have nothing left._

"Did you ever come here with Father?" she asked, glancing at the window. It was too high for her to see out of, but Coran knew what she was seeing in her minds' eye - the crystals of the Balmera, lancing out of the rocks and soil and catching the light in their never-ending facets. the blue sky shining over the Balmera's pitted and mined surface.

Coran closed his eyes for a moment, and Allura made a questioning sound, but then he nodded, twirling his mustache. "He was no older than you at the time the first time we came. Of course, i was already an adult -"

She laughed. "You're only twenty years older than him, Coran, stop being silly."

"Never, Princess."

* * *

 Alfor had his face pressed to the glass, and Coran thought he could almost hear his skin peeling off the window when he turned back to him, white hair tied back into a ponytail that bobbed excitedly behind him. "I've never seen a Balmera before! Are they really planet-sized, Coran? That sounds _really_ big."

"Weblums are bigger, trust me."

"You've never seen a Weblum, you liar."

"Have too!" Coran turned to his grandfather with a grin. "It nearly ate us."

Callum just shook his head with a small chuckle. "Balmeras aren't nearly as dangerous. They're stationary creatures, Alfor. So their size is mostly incidental."

"Yeah, but that's still a planet-sized creature! Where's it's teeth?"

"It doesn't have any," Grandpa Callum sighed, then fired up the pod, engines blazing to life under their feet. Coran tried to keep his cool, but then he couldn't restrain his excitement - he joined Alfor at the window, standing up on his tiptoes and perching his chin on Alfor's head -

"Oh my _god,_ Coran."

"I'm still taller than you~ Ow!" Coran drew back with a sulk, rubbing his foot as he yanked it out from under Alfor's heel.

"Well, _I'm_ going to be King. You can't be taller than me when I'm on a throne."

"Play nice, kids," Callum sighed from the controls, although he didn't seem to think it would make a lot of difference.

Still, they settled down, staring out into space as it opened out in front of them - and then the wormhole opened, and all they could see was the void -

There was a small whimper from next to him. Coran glanced down at Alfor, and blinked in surprise when he realized that there was fear in the young prince's eyes. He checked to make sure his grandfather wasn't looking - and then took Alfor's hand. Alfor started, then avoided Coran's gaze -

\- and then the wormhole was gone, and Alfor tightened his grip on Coran's fingers, even though he still wouldn't look at him. Below them, the Balmera turned quietly in the emptiness of space.

* * *

They stayed on the Balmera for three days, and every time Allura took a step onto the surface, Coran found his breath catching in his throat. _Don't take her from me. Don't. Please._  

Everybody else seemed so happy. They had the right to be. Hunk was holding hands with Shay with a nervous giddiness that made Coran feel young again just to be around, and Lance seemed dead set on flirting with every Balmeran he could find. Pidge was taking notes. Even Keith seemed to be relaxing, even while sitting away from everybody else with his back to one of the Balmera's crystals.

And Allura - Allura was so _happy._

Coran stared at her, the fear still there. She was hanging her legs off of the edge of one of the mining shafts, talking animatedly with the elder of the Balmerans, hands idly braiding her own hair. There was nothing to be afraid of.

"Your name is Coran, yes?"

He started, then realized it was Shay. She waved at him, smiling to try take the edge off of the shock she'd given him.

"Yes, that's me. Gosh, you're awfully quiet, aren't you?"

"I've been told I am good at that. I've not decided whether it is a good skill or not."

"Well, hard to go wrong with a bit of stealth skills, eh? Although I'm hoping you'll never need them. Except for hide-and-seek, maybe."

Shay grinned, then her eyes softened. "You look so concerned. Is something troubling you?"

 _Everything,_ he thought. "Oh, nothing out of the ordinary, I suppose. It's my duty to worry about Princess Allura at all times. Always ready for danger, that's me."

Shay looked over to Allura. "You believe she is in danger?"

Coran sighed. "I...don't know."

Shay looked at him in a way he couldn't decide whether to interpret as comfort or pity. "Come, sit. We have food - I know it is probably not what you are used to, but perhaps some sustenance will clear your mind." She paused, and then smiled a little. "Harm is no less likely to befall your daughter if you watch her like an eagle. And I suspect it will not ease your fear any."

"She's not my daughter," he corrected with a slight grumble. But Shay was right, of course. It didn't stop him from grumbling some more as she led him away from the mineshaft.

Over the meal she served him, Coran could feel the concern on her shoulders, as well as a question on her lips. Finally, he crinkled his mustache at her. "Out with it, out with it."

Shay sat down next to him, crossing her legs and staring down into her bowl with a meditative sadness. "Are you and the princess really the last of your kind?" she said finally, a small quiver at the edge of her voice. "I - did not believe it at first, but then Hunk explained that he and Lance and the others are not Altean. So it is...just the two of you?"

Coran blinked, and a thousand answers sprung to mind. Anything, really. _Yes, but only by sheer luck._ That was wrong. That was disrespecting Alfor's bravery. _As far as we know, but there might be others -_ who what? Had escaped the destruction of an entire solar system? His head wouldn't stop hurting. Because it was one thing to know it - to accept, on some outward level, that he was alone in a universe that had no more room for him - and quite another to have somebody else acknowledge it.

"Coran? I am - Please, forgive me, I should have been more thoughtful -" Shay's hand appeared on his shoulder, and he raised his hand to his shoulder to hold it, not trusting his voice. She seemed to understand. Then, quietly, "I am so sorry."

Coran shook his head. "I'm just glad we could stop _something_."

Shay smiled. "The Balmera gives its thanks once again. And you are always welcome here, Coran."

He smiled, although he couldn't quite make it feel natural. She was offering all that she had, all that anybody could offer. It just wasn't Altea. It wasn't his home.

* * *

 "Are you sure about this?" 

"Stop fussing over me," Alfor laughed. He'd gotten taller than Coran at some point, and his white hair fell into his face in tufts. Coran brushed them out of his face with a huff.

"My _lord,_ if you're going to fly a brand new magical ship into outer space for the first time, I demand _some right_ to fuss over you!"

"You're like a mother hen. Isn't there an actual baby for you to do that to now?"

"Are you planning on launching Allura up into space in a lion-shaped death trap?"

Alfor grabbed Coran's hands, pulling them down and trying to conceal the grin on his face. "You're getting _so_ anxious. I helped build them, remember?"

"Yes, because that fills me with overwhelming confidence." Coran cast a glance over at the other pilots. Galra, Altean, Olkari - all four of them in armour that matched Alfor's new red-and-white. He caught sight of Cosim in his new blue armour, and Cosim winked back at him. "I reserve the right to be worried."

"Alright, alright. But take care of Allura for me while we're working this out, won't you?" Alfor gave Coran a pat on the shoulder, then turned and stepped into the red lion-shaped craft for the first time. The other pilots did the same.

The Black Lion was the first to wake, and everybody around could feel it - a surge of energy, and curiosity, and affection. She got to her feet, and the crashing noise of her paws against the floor was so loud it hurt, but it was worth it to see the look in her eyes. _Her._ It came so naturally.

One by one, the other lions awoke, light coming into their mechanical eyes, and Coran couldn't find it in him to speak - because Alfor was right. There was nothing to worry about. They weren't machines - they were living things, born of magic and meteoric metal.

When they took off into the open sky, Coran watched, but he wasn't not concerned - not anymore. Instead, he gazed after the Lions with a silent cry of longing, heart lifting up to join them in the distant atmosphere.

* * *

“-I mean, I suppose my sister’s married by now, which _sucks_ because I was supposed to go to her wedding, but saving the universe is more important, I _guess -_ ” 

Coran couldn’t help but wonder how Lance had managed to keep a steady stream of words coming out of his mouth even while filling it with food. Wonders _would_ never cease. “I’m sure she’ll forgive you what with not being enslaved by Zarkon and all.”

“I know, right?” Hunk pointed at Lance. “I kept trying to tell him that.”

“Hey, look, the upside is, I get a break from the constant deluge of ‘when are you getting married’ I’ve been getting ever since Nina tied the knot. I’m eighteen, fam, and besides, like... “ Lance shrugged. “You know.”

Hunk just nodded sagely. Coran assumed the conversation had taken place before. “Alfor always used to tease me about not getting married. I think he assumed I’d just never gotten around to it!”

Lance coughed and spluttered a little, taking a drink of water. “Wait, dude, you’re not married?” After a glare from Hunk, he backtracked. “Sorry - I just assumed since you’re six hundred and something - I kind of thought you were Allura’s grand- uh - okay, Hunk’s giving me the stop talking look.” He gulped down an entire glass of water.

Coran scratched at his chin. “Do humans have a word for _nenvrit?_ ”

Hunk shook his head. “I mean, you have to tell us what it means first.”

“Oh, it means...hmm. It means somebody who doesn’t experience romance, or love, but not in the _bad_ way. It just means they’re perfectly content with friendship, perhaps other things. Usually not marriage, though.”

Lance blinked, halfway through setting his glass down. “...Oh. That’s - a thing?”

Hunk gave Lance a meaningful look, then continued brightly, “It’s cool that you have a word for that! We probably have one, I just don’t know what it is.”

Lance gestured at Hunk for a sec. Then he lowered his voice. “Uh - Coran, are you _nenvirt_?”

“ _Nenvrit._ And yes! Although you needn’t say it quite like that. It’s nothing _bad._ Why, there’s plenty of people around marrying and such like, I don’t see the point of _me_ doing it!”

“Are - are you sure? I mean, that it’s -” Lance shrugged, then stared down at his hands.

Hunk cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go for a bit. Lance, bro, come find me if you need me, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Coran peered at Lance’s face. He’d never seen him quite so thoughtful before, or so troubled. Once before - when he’d found him staring at the star map, homesick and lost. “I take it,” he said quietly, “that humans on Earth aren’t so kind.”

“Haven’t particularly had the chance to find out,” Lance mumbled. “I mean, there’s no really good way to say ‘hey, so I think I’m physically incapable of loving somebody’, y’know.”

“Tosh. You love plenty of people.”

“Not like...romantically.” Lance shrugged. “I mean, it’s not a _big_ deal, it just...feels like one.”

Coran smiled, wrapping an arm around Lance’s shoulders. “Who’s the most important person in your life?”

Lance’s stormy face burst into a smile. “Hunk. Don’t tell him I said that. He’ll coo. It’s embarrassing.” He didn’t stop grinning.

“He’s pretty important to you. And Shiro too, right?”

“Yeah. He’s my hero.”

“And you and Pidge -”

Lance snorted at that. “Somebody has to look out for the brat, right?”

“And then there’s Keith.”

Lance pulled a face. “...Ennh. Jury’s out.” Coran smacked him on the arm, and Lance rubbed his shoulder with an exaggerated pout. “Fine. He’s alright, I _guess._ ”

“You don’t need to be _in_ love with somebody to love them, or miss them, or to want to keep them safe. And there is certainly nothing wrong with you.”

Lance leant his head onto Coran’s shoulder, mumbling something incoherent. It might have been a ‘thank you’. All Coran could think was that he’d gotten _far_ more attached to these paladins than he’d planned for.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Coran. Things didn't go how they were meant to -" 

Coran closed his eyes, letting the words sink in and refusing to allow himself more of a response than he'd already given. _Allura was gone. Allura was gone. Allura was gone -_

The paladins were debating plans. Coran didn't want to hear it. _It's too dangerous. It's a trap._

The walls of the Castle were closing in on him.

"Excuse me," he mumbled. "Got to make sure the Castle's ship-shape."

He wandered, not so much fixing the Castle as talking to it, hand moving over the walls as he went from room to room. It had seemed big and lonely before. Now he couldn't dispel the illusion of being the only one here. An old man, who'd managed to outlive his entire race.

_She's not dead. Stop that._

So why did this entire ship feel like a graveyard? Suddenly Coran couldn't even bear to look at his own shadow. 

He found himself in Alfor's room - _no, don't think of it like that,_ it was where they'd kept Alfor's AI, the memory room, and Alfor was _gone_ now -

_But I'm not._

There was an empty capsule on the wall. He picked it up (it was so light in his arms, and memories didn't have any weight to them) and affixed it to the center, then put his hand on the top -

_Allura._

And the memories came up like a wave. Alfor holding Allura at her sixth birthday party, making jokes about how big she was getting even as she clambered onto his shoulders - Allura at twelve, throwing mud at Cosim and catching Coran in the face when he tried to get into the middle - Allura's first storm, hiding inside and staring outside with wide eyes as the fire rained down -

\- Alfor and Feara, hands clasped and dancing, Feara dancing with Coran's sister and all of Coran's nieces and nephews, her hair long and brown and braided. Happy memories. A million happy memories of a place that was gone and people who were dead -

Coran pulled his mind away from those. It wasn't just about the happy memories.

The Black Lion's eyes flashed bright in his mind, and Zarkon's voice rang in his ears, as loud and clear as the first day he'd heard it. _Stop telling me weakness is something to value._

_"Coran-"_

_Is that why you took Allura?_ Coran found himself spitting at the illusion. _To prove that I'm weaker than you?_

"CORAN!"

There were hands on his wrists - his connection with the memory capsule was lost, and he struck out blindly - _don't touch me - not again - not ever again -_

His fist smacked into Lance's cheek, and Lance reeled away, hands sliding off of Coran's wrists as he nearly collapsed. "Oh quiznak, Lance -" He reached for him.

"Coran, put your hands down." Shiro's voice this time. Calm, focused, with that thread of concern and sadness winding through it. Had anybody told him yet how much he sounded like Alfor? Coran didn't think so.

Coran lowered his hands, head clearing as he looked around. All five of them were there, Keith hovering nervously by the door, Hunk on his knees by Lance and poking gently at his cheek, Pidge standing determinedly between him and the memory capsule - and Shiro, behind him, hand gentle as it landed on his shoulder. Coran found himself flinching anyway.

"I'm okay," mumbled Lance. "Just -" He spat some blood onto the floor. "Think you chipped a tooth or something. Damn, you guys are strong." He glanced up at Coran, blue eyes flickering indecisively between worry and hurt.

Coran raised his hand to Shiro's fingers, still light on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he breathed. How had he thought Lance was Zarkon-? You're a soldier. You know how this works. But knowing didn't make it any easier to stomach.

Shiro stepped in front of Coran. "We're going to bring her back, okay? All of us."

Coran nodded, throat tight suddenly. He was the adult here - he wasn't going to cry, not in front of these children he'd recruited into a war they had nothing to do with. "I'd like some privacy. If that's alright."

"Are you gonna be okay?" Lance asked, with a slight note of incredulity that Coran couldn't quite blame him for. "I mean -"

"I'll be careful."

Shiro nodded, and went over to help Lance up off the ground. Pidge refused to move. Coran waited until the rest had left, but even then, she stayed stubbornly where she was, arms crossed.

"Pidge, please move."

"Only if you let me stay."

He sighed. HIs chest still hurt from trying not to cry. "I suppose that's fine."

She moved aside, and he activated the capsule. The room lit up with blue and red and gold, and he could hear the sudden hitch in Pidge's breath as the dancers sprung out of stardust, winding into a spiral -

"There she is," Coran said quietly, pointing to Allura holding hands with her father. "The dance of the first sun."

And finally, he began to cry, putting a hand to his mouth to keep the sobs inside, because he was better than this -

Pidge's arms latched around him. "It's okay. We'll find them. We're gonna," she murmured, and he didn't know whether the words were for him, or for herself. In the end, he wasn't sure it mattered.


	3. Chapter 3

_“Take up our quarrel with the foe_

_To you, from failing hands, we throw_

_The torch: be yours to hold it high_

_If ye break faith with us who die,_

_We shall not sleep, though poppies grow_

_In Flanders fields.”_

 

 

Prince Zarkon of the Galran Kingdom was not quite what Coran had expected. For one thing - he was _big._ He knew Galra ranged in size more dramatically than Alteans did, but it was quite another to see Zarkon standing awkwardly next to Eleis, the Olkari yellow paladin, trying not to hit their head with his elbow. “Sorry.”

Coran blinked, then turned back into the other room. “Alfor, is this the paladin you described as an awkward gangly mess?”

Alfor blinked up at him, mouth full of some snack or another. “...Yes. Why?”

“He looks like he could lift half of a spaceship without _flinching!_ ”

“What’s your point?”

Coran stared back out at Zarkon, who was now shaking Allura’s hand with an awkward, sheepish grin that looked _terribly_ out of place on his purple, scaley face. “I thought Galra were fluffy.”

“Mm, some of them are. He’s part of the amphibious tribe, up in the north.” Alfor grinned, pulling himself up onto the counter. “It’s pretty useful, actually. The cold doesn’t bother him, and he can breathe underwater.”

“Not my point, Alfor. My point is, you’re going to have an _eight-foot-tall stranger_ teach Allura how to fight? Why can’t I do it?”

“Because she’ll whine about a bruise and you’ll drop everything. Zarkon’s awkward but he’s a good trainer. He got Eleis up to speed, and Eleis is half Allura’s size.”

Coran tugged anxiously on his mustache. “I can be hard on her,” he grumbled. “Although you _may_ have a point. Possibly.”

“Besides…” Alfor picked up his glass, smiling in the direction of the other room. “I firmly believe Allura will pilot a lion one day. If that happens, I want her to know the other paladins.”

“Alfor, what are you saying?”

He shrugged. “I’m getting old. It happens -”

“That is _absolute tosh._ I’m what, twenty cycles older than you-?”

Alfor waved Coran away with a laugh. “The point being, Allura will succeed me as Queen of Altea, and I’m hoping as a Paladin of Voltron as well. Zarkon’s a good man. All of them are.”

Coran couldn’t stop himself from grimacing. “All I can hear is that you’re planning on letting her _and_ Cosim pilot those things at the same time. I thought you were supposed to have Altea’s well-being in mind.”

“...You make an excellent point.” Alfor pulled a face. “I might have to reconsider.”

* * *

When Allura and Keith came back on board after the Taujeer rescue, Coran didn’t even bother saying anything. He just stood in front of Allura, glaring and watching her expression change from a carefully-schooled apologetic mask to a terribly-hidden smirk.

“Your eyes are sparkling,” he glowered.

She broke, giggling into her hand. “Don’t _look_ at me like that! It was - I was being serious! It was a serious plan!”

“Then stop laughing!”

“Princess, I -” Shiro came to a dead halt, then glanced from Coran to Allura with a slightly panicked expression. “...Is everything okay?” Beat. “What’s so funny?”

Coran suddenly found his own lips twitching. “ _Nothing,_ ” he managed to say through gritted teeth. “It’s just - well - this is not the first time Allura’s stolen a vehicle in the middle of the night. With a boy.”

Allura still hadn’t stopped giggling. “It’s not funny! At all!”

Shiro didn’t look any less confused. “...Um, okay.” Then his ears went red. “Wait, did something happen-?”

“No, no, nothing like that - Hey, what are you _implying?_ ”

“I’m not - I just -” Shiro held up his hands defensively, and Allura rolled her eyes, still trying to stop herself from laughing. “I should go check on Hunk he’s doing repairs on Yellow -” He pointed in a random direction, then walked off.

Allura reached up, adjusting her bun, then still smiling, nodded to an alcove Coran really hadn’t been paying attention to. “It’s okay. He’s gone.”

Keith pulled himself out of the corner and dusted off his armour. “Thank you.” Then he caught Coran’s disapproving stare. “He can chew me out later.”

“It won’t be that bad, I’m sure,” Allura replied, giving Keith a comforting smile.

“It won’t. I just don’t want to.”

Coran snorted. “Bloody teenagers… Go on, off with you. I’m trying to be all paternal and serious and you ragamuffins are _ruining_ the mood.” He gave Keith a push, and Keith ran off with a laugh - and Coran found himself wondering how often he heard Keith like that.

Then he turned back to Allura in time to see the first tear roll down her cheek. “Oh, Princess, don’t cry… I’m not going to _yell._ ”

“You’re such a pushover,” she mumbled, but pushed her face into his chest anyway. “I just -”

“Just what?”

“I just thought about how much Cosim would like Keith.”

“Oh.”

She sniffled a little, then pulled back, rubbing desperately at her eyes. “I don’t have time to be like this - I have to figure out how I feel about these Blades, and now we know how Zarkon’s tracking us but I don’t know what to do about it, and -”

“Shh.”

“What do you mean, _shh -_ ”

“Just… let yourself be upset for five minutes. Nothing will happen in five minutes that you can’t make up for.”

Allura stared up at him, then her face crumpled, and she sat down on the hood of the pod, sobs soft and controlled but at least they were _happening._ She’d grown since they’d buried Alfor’s memories - she was taller, stronger - but she was still Allura. Still his Allura. “I miss Cosim so much,” she murmured. “I feel like I should miss other people more, but Cosim -” She swallowed. “I keep hearing what he’s going to say. Or imagining what he would do.”

“And what would he do right now?”

Allura snorted. “Bully me over making another impulsive decision and then flirt with Keith?”

“I agree! On the first part, at least. I am _not_ particularly accomplished at the second.”

Allura burst into another fit of giggles, and they subsided into a soft, contented sigh. “I’ll be okay.”

“Yes, you will. The paladins are good people -” _who else had said that and been wrong, Coran? Who else?_ “And it’s nice to see you interacting with them more.”

She nodded. She hadn’t caught it. The words kept resonating in Coran’s head, a memory he’d rather not revisit - _Zarkon is a good man Zarkon is a good man -_

-and less than a week later, watching Allura tear through drone after drone, watching her refuse to look at Keith, to even _speak_ to him, he wanted to tell her _stop it, he’s not Zarkon, he’s not a traitor just for being Galra,_ and he knew it was wrong - but Alfor’s mistake kept his tongue tied and his heart broken.

_Zarkon is a good man._

* * *

Allura went sprawling, and Zarkon took the few steps over, pointing the staff at her throat. “Clumsy, princess. Guard yourself better next time.” He pulled the staff upwards and offered his hand to help her up - 

-and found himself going head over heels to the ground. Allura pressed her knee to his throat. “Same to you.”

Coran clapped from the sidelines, and Zarkon pointed the staff at him. “No cheering squads!”

“Oh, don’t worry, I was applauding your teaching skills,” Coran said blithely.

“Hold your tongue or I’ll cut it off,” he grumbled, and Allura poked his nose with a cheeky grin.

“What, are you a sore loser?”

Zarkon pushed her off of him, getting to his feet. “Excellently done, Allura. And no, of course not.”

“What about that time Father beat you at arm wrestling-?”

“ _We do not speak of that._ ”

A drone buzzed overhead, then projected an image of Alfor down onto the grass. “ _Zarkon! Glad I could find you. Apparently the protests on the Eithana moon have gotten a little out of control. I can’t leave the castle right now - can you and Cosim fly over and do some crowd control?”_

“Eithana? Do they never _stop?_ ” Zarkon groaned, then shrugged. “A pleasure as always, Princess.” He offered his hand, and Allura stared at it for a minute, then jumped up and latched her arms around his neck.

“Oh! Well, I suppose.” He hugged her back, and Coran didn’t miss the smile on his face. “You keep Coran out of trouble.”

“Of course!” She saluted him as he walked away.

* * *

The battle was won. Zarkon was defeated - _not dead,_ his mind told him, the part of his mind that remembered all the things that Haggar was capable of even without her lion - but nothing felt right. And staring down at the empty pilot’s seat in the Black Lion, he couldn’t help but feel like history was repeating itself. Not directly, no - but it was leaving echoes. 

Perhaps the echoes were only in his own head. But Shiro was gone.

“Allura, we should -” He turned, but she’d already run away, run from the empty seat. The others were sitting around, trying to process their own thoughts.

“What’s bothering her?” Pidge asked, a sharp knife in her voice. “ _We’re_ the ones who knew him -”

The gall of it rose bitterly in his throat, and he was about to respond -

“Pidge, cut it out. We’re all upset. Allura cares about Shiro, too.” Keith’s hands were dug deep into his pockets, but his glare was fixed on Pidge.

Pidge seemed ready to say something else, but then she lowered her hackles, eyes dropping to the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“How are we going to form Voltron without Shiro?” Hunk asked bleakly. Coran reached for an answer -

“Allura can’t pilot Black because then the Castle ship can’t wormhole,” Pidge sighed.

 _So much for your plan, Alfor._ Alfor had never planned for Allura to be the only Altean left, or to be the princess of an empty wasteland.

He turned and went after Allura, but the door to her room was closed. Inside, he could hear the sounds of things breaking against the walls.

* * *

The first sign they had that anything had gone wrong was the Blue Lion crashing into Altea, fast enough to leave flames trailing in its wake and a crater where it landed. 

“Cosim!” Coran had hardly turned around to see before Allura was dashing out in front of him, white hair streaming out behind her. She threw herself into the crater, murmuring words to the lion. "It's okay, Blue, you're home, you made it home, open up, let me see him? Just let me see, let me see..."

Blue opened her massive jaws as far as they would reach, and Allura clambered in.

Coran reached the edge of the crater, and Allura's scream broke through the hot air. "Cosim! COSIM! Wake up!"

"Allura. Allura!" He climbed in after her, then stopped dead at the opening of Blue's mouth.

Cosim hung half-off the pilot seat, still belted in. His hand hung desperately onto the blaster, but when Allura shook his shoulders, it fell from his faltering grip.

"Cosim - come on, please, no, it's _me,_ " she begged. She pulled the helmet off, and his red curls fell over his face. Allura touched his head, then pulled her hand away like it'd been burnt, staring at the blood on her hand like she couldn't quite understand what it was. "Wh-what happened-?" she asked shakily. "The protests weren't that bad, they _weren't,_ they _couldn't_ have been -"

She kept searching for a heartbeat on Cosim's body, hands clasping his wrist, his neck, his chest... Finally, Coran had to pull her away from him. "Princess..."

"No! _No, stop it,_ we just have to - we just have to find his heartbeat, if we can get _help -_ "

Coran could feel his resolve cracking. He forced himself not to look at the body ( _Cosim, his name is Cosim and he's your grandnephew, he's your family)._

A message crackled through the comm on Cosim's helmet. _"Cosim? Alfor? Anybody?"_ It was Eleis, voice desperate.

Coran and Allura stared at each other - then he sprang into action, pushing the helmet onto his head. Still keeping his eyes away from Cosim's face, he unbelted him and pushed him to the side -

"What are you doing?"

Coran held a finger up to Allura's lips. Her eyes had become pinpricks of fear in her pale face, but the set of her jaw gave him faith. "Eleis, it's Coran on Altea. Blue just crashlanded. What's going on?"

_"Zarkon! It's Zarkon - he's gone mad!"_

_Zarkon is a good man._

Coran raised his eyes to Allura, who refused to say a word, but he could see her entire body shaking like a leaf. With a deliberate slowness, she walked to the corner of the ship, steadied herself on the wall, then threw up, falling to her knees.

"Are you sure?" Coran asked with a sudden insistence. His voice sounded so distant. All he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears.

" _The Black Lion's on my tail and firing at me, and I definitely saw her do a bunch of damage to Blue. If Blue couldn't get out of the way fast enough, how well do you think my boy's gonna do?"_

"And there's nobody else who can fly the Black Lion?"

 _"Unless Princess Allura's started using us as target practice, I think it's pretty safe to assume -"_ There was a burst of static, and Coran stood up in panic.

"Eleis!"

"- _fzzt- I'm back, he nearly got me there - look, I'm gonna have to come back to Altea-"_

" _T_ _hat's quite alright."_ Alfor's voice chimed through the comm, but even through the static Coran could hear the fury and pain in his voice. " _Lure him to the castle. Can he listen in to this?"_

" _N_ _o, I tried that. I think Cosim destroyed his helmet or something - Haggar's AWOL, Cosim hasn't responded -"_

"Cosim's dead," Coran replied, and felt himself detaching from his physical body. _Get it done. Get it taken care of. Mourn him later._

_"Fuck. Get the Blue Lion here."_

"Neither Allura nor I have ever -"

_"She'll tell you what to do. She's a good girl like that."_

Coran took a deep breath. Then he handed the helmet to Allura. She hesitated, then took it from him and took the pilot's seat.

They would make it work.

* * *

The juniberry fields were burning, and Coran stood outside the palace door holding nothing but a blaster. He should have been afraid. Instead, he was angry. Three of the four lions that had been out of the palace had made their way home. Green had been empty. Eleis had died of her wounds. And Blue - Blue was sore and grieving. They'd tried to take Cosim's body from her and she'd almost killed them. 

And now Zarkon was walking down the untouched path through the fields, towards him like nothing had happened. He could have just shot him with the blaster, but Coran knew Zarkon was too smart for that. No, a basic gun wouldn't do any good. It just made him feel braver.

 _"Are you alright, Coran?"_ asked Alfor.

"Of course. What's not to be alright about?"

 _"I sense sarcasm._ "

"Cosim's dead and the only plan we have involves putting Allura in danger, again."

_"We could be dead any moment. You could waste less of your time snarking at me."_

"What better to remember me by than ridiculous, pointless sarcasm?"

Now Zarkon was in front of him, and behind him -

"Oh no," Coran breathed.

" _What? Who is it?"_

"Haggar."

The Green Paladin, hands chained, stood to Zarkon's left, a sentry gun aimed at her head.

"Shoot me if you want to," Zarkon growled. "But she'll die."

Eleis. Cosim. And now Haggar. Coran swallowed, but it didn't make his mouth any less dry. "What happened out there?" he asked finally, buying time. That was his job, after all.

"I tried to exert the force of Voltron on people who deserved it. The others fought me. I made them pay."

"The force of Voltron - Zarkon, this doesn't sound like you."

"It doesn't matter whether it does or not. Now step aside and let me into the Castle."

Coran swallowed. Here was the tough part. "...No."

" _S_ _he's almost in. Keep stalling, Coran._ "

"No? Not even at the risk of Haggar's life? I know you, Coran. You're weak. You'd let an entire planet die from inaction if it meant saving one life." Zarkon gave him a crooked grin. Faces were supposed to look different once they committed murder. Somebody wasn't supposed to have the same smile after killing your friends.

Coran lifted the blaster and pointed it at the centre of Zarkon's chest. "I'm not weak," he tried to say, and it came out in a shaky voice he barely recognized as his own. "I'm not - I'm not weak for loving people. I'm not."

“Is this all because of Cosim? He attacked me first, you know.” Zarkon pointed at the wound on his face. “I was defending myself -”

The blaster fired. The shot didn’t even make it to Zarkon - it hovered midair, frozen in place by purple quintessence, and Haggar yanked her fingers away, tearing the blaster from Coran’s hand. “Touch him and you die.” The fake restraints fell away.

“So much for me being weak,” Coran retorted. Zarkon lifted his hand, and Coran got ready to flinch -

The howl of the Black Lion broke their concentration, and Zarkon turned back to see the Lion lift from the ground - and towards the castle. “No - _no!_ You -” He turned back to Coran. “You were a _distraction?_ ”

“And it worked! You should have seen the stupid look on your face - Urk!” Zarkon’s hand closed around his throat, throwing him against the door. Coran heard something snap, and he looked blearily up at Zarkon, the way his eyes glowed and left a streak as he turned his head back up to watch his Lion fly out of his grasp…

The Castle doors opened, and Alfor’s arm lashed out, yanking Coran inside and slamming the doors shut.

“Particle shield activate!” Alfor. That was Alfor’s voice. “Coran, I told you not to get killed.”

“I’m alive, I think,” he breathed.

“Father - Father, she won’t stop _crying,_ she doesn’t want to be here… All she wants is to go back to him! I don’t know what to tell her - she keeps saying there must be a mistake, her pilot wouldn’t hurt her like this, her pilot wouldn’t tell her to do these terrible things…”

“There’s no time for that. As long as she’s in the Castle now. Come on, we need to get Coran to the healing pod.”

“What happened?”

The voices blurred into each other. Coran closed his eyes, the grinding in his spine a distant pain he could deal with. The healing pod would take care of it.

“Coran.”

He managed to force his eyes open. Alfor stood in front of him, outside the pod. “...Where’s Allura?” Coran slurred, trying to move his arms.

“She’s asleep. You’re going to sleep too, for a while.”

“...what’s.. a while?”

“Until it’s safe. Until I can come find you.”

Coran tried to blink away the blurring in his eyes. “...Where are you going?”

“I’m dropping the lions in safe locations. And then I’m taking Red and I’m taking care of Zarkon once and for all.”

Coran’s mouth wouldn’t work how he wanted it to. Instead, he grabbed onto Alfor’s sleeve. Alfor smiled, but shook his head, gently detaching Coran’s hand. “Take care of her for me. Please?”

“...Always.”

Alfor leant forward and kissed Coran’s cheek. Then he stepped back, gave Coran one last smile - and the world went dark.

* * *

The sun was setting, and Coran found her on the balcony, watching it with a distant, dreamy look. “It’s not Zanis,” she said quietly as he leant on the railing next to her, “but it’ll do.” 

“...Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

Allura nodded, then sighed, staring at her hands. “...I can’t pilot Black. One of the others, perhaps, if Keith was ready. He will be, eventually. Just - _nobody’s_ ready. Shiro was barely ready and he was - _is -”_ she corrected firmly, “special.”

“You’re pretty special too.”

She shook her head. “I piloted Black once. And Blue. And I can’t - I can’t stop hearing that screaming. I’m always going to be the one who took her away from Zarkon, and even if she feels differently about that now, I’m - Not me. And I’m not taking Blue away from Lance.” She laughed gently at that. “Blue loves him so much. I can hear her, sometimes, terrified that the same thing will happen to him as Cosim.”

“So we’re still without a black paladin.”

“We’ll find Shiro. And we’ll - we’ll find some way to make do.”

Coran lifted an eyebrow at her. “And what about Keith?”

Allura pursed her lips. “You mean the offer from the BoM.”

“I told him to go to you with that.”

She shrugged, affecting as careless a demeanour as she could. “Oh, I said it was up to him. If he _wants_ to go train with those muscle-bound furballs, it’s not my business, is it?”

“ _Allura!_ ”

“Fine. They’re not _all_ furballs. But I mean, we’re short one paladin, why not two, right?”

Coran fixed her with the most disapproving stare he could muster. Allura avoided his stare. “He cares what you think.”

“I don’t know why. My opinions are terrible.”

Coran turned his head, then nudged Allura with his elbow.

“What -?” She turned around. “Oh.”

Keith stood there, still not quite meeting her eyes. “Princess. I, um - I -”

“Spit it out, Keith, we don’t have - _ow!”_ Allura glared at Coran. “That’s my _foot._ ”

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m - I told the Blades no. I mean, I told them I was staying. Here. If you’ll have me.”

Coran snuck his gaze up to Allura’s face. He wasn’t much of an expert on how humans read expressions, but privately he wondered how Keith could possibly miss the sudden release of tension, the relief on her face, the sparkling in her eyes. _Not your business. Right._

“Well, you two should talk about that. I’m going to go make myself scarce.”

“ _Coran-!_ ” There was a laugh in her voice, though, and when Coran looked back over his shoulder, Keith was on the railing next to Allura. Good. They would work themselves out, Galra or no.

_Coran._

He slowed to a halt. Then, half in a trance, he followed the voice that was summoning him, down to the bay. He could feel the lions - all of them awake and watching him, even if they didn’t move.

He walked down the length of the bay, down to where Black lay. “Hello again, my old friend.”

 _Coran._ She shifted, then opened her mouth, inviting him in.

He paused. None of the lions had ever _invited_ him in before, even though he’d known them their entire life.

 _Don’t be scared. I’m not going to hurt you._ There was a wry sarcasm to it, and Coran couldn’t help but smile. He’d forgotten how - well - _normal_ the Lions were.

He entered the cockpit, running his hands over the walls. It was different inside her than inside Blue, or Red - not massively so, but there were slight differences in design, small changes. They were related, but siblings instead of twins. “How are you holding up, my dear?”

_Do you want the honest answer?_

“Fair point.” He eyed the pilot seat, then sat down next to the wall. “I’m so sorry. First we wrench you away from your first, then -”

_Shush, shush, dear one. You did the right thing. And Shiro - he will be safe. We just need to find him. Will you help me?_

“Me?” Coran blinked. “I - well - I’m no pilot.”

Black chuckled. _Neither is Pidge. You should hear what Green has to say about her actual flying skills. We all learn, right?_

“Why not somebody else?”

 _The Princess is right. I trust her as a commander, but I cannot psychically link with her. The pain is… too close. But you - you understand._ She paused. _There’s a chair right there, you know._

“Can’t I be stubborn for a little while longer?”

_You’re going to throw out your back, old man._

“You have _ten thousand years_ on me! At least!”

_Not for lack of trying._

“Alright, that’s it, if you’re going to call me old, I _definitely_ have to prove you wrong.” Coran tried to get up, then fell back down against the wall. “Oof. In a minute.”

 _Take your time,_ she said, and Coran couldn’t decide whether it was sarcastic or not. _I can’t bring Alfor back to you. I wish I could. But help me bring Shiro home. And you will have my endless devotion._

“You already had mine,” Coran replied. “So of course.” He managed to get to his feet, then settled himself into the pilot seat. “So tell me, which one is the ‘go’ switch?”

_Say when._

“Wh-?”

And Black took off with a exultant yell, firing out into space. Somewhere, maybe from a distant moon, maybe from wherever Altea had once been, maybe from everywhere and nowhere at once, Coran imagined he could hear Alfor laughing at him.


End file.
